I remember my consciousness affecting, eating into me When I started to get up in my teens. feeling deep hurt and longing; of life going by, missing my life. Broken, like a “short” circuit... O(a)bject in no gravity, outer-space. kind of empty false place, powerless feeling -open. feel special things... Like I could hear. maybe (change, life, growth...) seA! My vision was to me like a disease, my life was cut off, shut in; going in further without... and I was unable to get outside of it to anything. or like a dog.