think I was always in a lot of trouble, started going in and out of juvenile corrections and camps when I was 12 or 13. in my 16 year I remember deciding I needed to be really ok cook, appropriate. I wanted to do good,.. Practical. happy, normal. I kind of moved, changed out school -Green Valley ...hang out where kids we're hip, ends. that “Universe...” summer, got a job through youth parole at a new Saturn dealership -that was one of the coolest times in my life. “like prayer... Universe” + “return” change of “mind”! A new environment, couple Good friends; most the people I remember working there were really cool actually. it was exciting, and fun -to change.

...I started hanging out with a few guys after work from Riverside, moved out to check the scene and work for Summer. …I met this awesome really pretty girl name Cassandra. I would Kind of Daydream about being with her, But I never did tell her about it. I was scared to death ...she liked me too, I know she liked me. She would try to engage and talk. mess with me, like.., walk by with some papers and bump me with her butt. She came to a get together those guys were having at their house one time with a couple of her friends to talk, try and hook up... being all cool

I had a dream about her one night. I wanted to tell her and I couldn't, it kind of ate at me. It really bothered me, I didn't stop at that Hostess desk on the way in and tell her about that dream.

I thought she was so neat, dope... supposed to make the connection in reality. I wanted to. she was really pretty and funny, her ears were a tiny big and stuck out kind of goofy. I never really did actually meet a cooler girl. It might have been really important to her, Significant... (I knew it was really important, meant the world. found out it was 30yrs later) Recognized something ideal, forward, special -in relationship. But I don't know, she was really cool and I remember feeling, knowing subconsciously by the certain attitude,.. too COOL focused Authentic quality... I think life; opportunity, proposition... desire, would've eventually found me in the way, not that that would have been a bad thing really. I would have wanted to be there for her later ideally. In whatever better capacity, not like at that time I would've possessed the maturity. I think when I grew up some down the line, probably